About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
