are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
