she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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