whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
