I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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