My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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