oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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