Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
