do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
