what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
