I hate all girls vehemently.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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