We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
