can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
