No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
