ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
