I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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