Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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