Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
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nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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