Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
