We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
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there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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