Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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