Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
