I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
