BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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