Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
