Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
