This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
