David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
