She said her name was "party"
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You ate ashes out of my bong
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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