walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
