i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
