bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
this will be a night to untag.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
