I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
