Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
