then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
tell me about the eggs
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