i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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