When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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