THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
