So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
