We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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