Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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