We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
