She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
