God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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