I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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