So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
