i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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