I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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