your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
