question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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