He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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