take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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