I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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