Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
