We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
