also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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