so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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