Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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