Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize