I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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