I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
