tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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